No offense, but I don't know if I can get it up for you." Don't worry, just follow my lead."She walked over to the director, and I followed her."Excuse me; I don't know if I'm really comfortable with the next scene." You have a problem fucking Jack?" Yes, actually." But aren't you two dating?" Yes, and I want our first time to be intimate, you know, something special that we can share just the two of us."The director rolled his eyes. "I'll tell you what. We can just have him dry hump you and we'll film it from above. It'll look just like the real thing."We did exactly as he said and Tonya did a pretty good job of making it look real. I ended up with a nice set of scratches running down my back. "Sorry about that," she whispered as we got up.We finished up shooting and the director called everybody together. He made a nice little speech about how great the shoot went and what an honor it was to work with everybody. At the end he told us where the wrap party would be, and asked. That one was even a metal one. We later found out we had a wind shear from a tornado that came close to our area.We also found a mahogany side table that fits perfectly beside my wife's electric recliner. Boy, she hates it when the power goes off and she is reclined. Our grandson, Stephen, finally gave her a solution, move the foot stool under the foot rest, then squirm her way down to end up sitting on the foot rest and then I can help her get up from there. We can attest that it works, as we had a sudden storm two weeks later, and the power went out for over six hours. Katie had to use the rest room after about an hour, so we tried his suggestion and, lo and behold, it worked perfectly. My wife is no longer as terrified of being trapped in storms.For the better part of a year, we have been searching the antique stores looking for something, actually anything that we felt would scare solicitors away from our door. We thought of hanging a cross upside down, but thought that was too.
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